Emotional Intelligence Isn’t About Being Nice
Emotional Intelligence is about being Bold and…
Most leaders get emotional intelligence wrong.
They think it’s about smiling through frustration, avoiding conflict, and playing the friend card. I thought being a “good” leader meant being everyone's go-to, the one who always played super nice. But here’s the brutal truth: that approach leads to mediocrity, not greatness.
I recently read a post on LinkedIn that had this great graphic and it resonated with me. So I thought I'd share it here. The post was all about EI and how you can know if you are doing it well or not.
Why is that important? Because the best leaders understand that emotional intelligence is about navigating the messy, uncomfortable stuff without losing your cool—or your credibility. It’s about leaning into difficult conversations, setting boundaries without apology, and owning your mistakes with grace. (that last one is often the hardest for many.)
So today, I am sharing this with you as My 8 ways exceptional leaders master emotional intelligence: You can head over to this post to read the entire list of 15 on LinkedIn.
My 8 - drop a comment with what you are doing well, and what you want to work on.
They ask for the hard truth.
“What's one thing I could have done better?” It’s a question that shows guts and a commitment to growth. The best leaders don’t just ask; they listen and then act.
They make small promises count.
Follow through on the little things. It’s about integrity. If you can't deliver, speak up before someone chases you down. (No one wants to chase you down, friend.)
They absorb pressure without spreading it.
Emotional contagion is real. Before reacting under stress, they take a breath—or a break. If overwhelmed, they hit pause with a simple, “Let’s regroup in 5 minutes.”
They set boundaries with grace.
No is a complete sentence, but they soften it with context: “I can help tomorrow at 2.” They exit meetings gracefully, valuing their time and others’.
They listen like detectives.
Listening isn’t waiting to talk. It’s about seeking to understand first, and responding second. They assume good intent, (always) even if the delivery is rough.
They show their human side.
Flaws make you relatable. They share lessons from their mistakes and admit when they don’t have the answer.
They choose their responses carefully.
People’s reactions are about them, not you. They separate the message from the delivery, focusing on what’s useful and letting the rest go. Listen to this episode on the Power of Pause… it will help you with managing responses.
They chase growth relentlessly.
No excuses. Just ownership. “That’s on me. Here’s how I’ll fix it.” They adapt quickly and get back on track.
Bottom line: Emotional intelligence isn’t about being nice. It’s about being bold enough to face the hard truths, resilient enough to handle pressure, and wise enough to grow from every challenge.
So, what’s your boldest move in mastering emotional intelligence?
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